Past

You look at the past with families members and friends that are gone. It is weird how some things fade and others are as vivid as if they had just happened. I remember my grandma. She was an amazing woman all the way to the end. Though it was sad that she passed while I was away. The harder part was being told she did through a phone and not have any possible way to come back to her. No family around to support you in person. Just this feeling of being alone. I lost it that day after I had gotten that call. I about fell to the ground in the gym with my friends at just the thought of her smile. I had missed it for so long but had neglected to harbor that image in my mind until she was gone. Just such a large wave of emotions crashed over me and drown my mind. I became dull to all the guys around me. Took my buddy Jackman to smack my back to make me come back to reality. He saw something was wrong.

I just had to tell him there was a lot on my mind before I went to get my stuff. Ending that work out session a lot earlier then ever before for myself. Going to my truck I literally knew the pain of tears. The harsh cold air hit my face freezing the the tears almost instantly as I walked to the truck in the snow. Was a horrible feeling of knowing the emotions were so overwhelming as well as the cold.

This just dark deep thought now shows the joys I actually had for her. The happiness she had instilled in me. Every day I remember her smile. As said before stated her smile is, was, amazing. The feelings she taught me and my sister are there today. Even my Papa shows them. He tries to open up even more then he once did now that she is gone.