Final

There were a number of times that I looked at the words I was typing to think if maybe this stuff was to personal to discuss. The conclusion was that it was not, but it did show a general view of a few aspects of my daily life, ideals, and thought patterns in what I hope to be a fluent writing. Lacking still in some aspects as far as grammar I can say now that this has helped me to an extent.

Grammar has always been a difficulty of mine. Having never had full instruction on it, as I have stated in board discussions, it was difficult for me to adjust. Even harder so was adjusting while on an all online class after being out of school for a few years. Of course this can be seen easily from the very beginning of this class. Some of my wordings have adjusted to better suit situations as well as the context of my writing. There has been a better variety of sentence structures now then was at the start.

Thankfully the free writing of the blogs did allow me to look at some of my thoughts in a more abstract view. Writings being sent out over the web for all to see means there is a likely chance someone with try and adjust your writing patters. They could be encouraging remarks or stating your problem in writing. Such a thing happened during my essay on the latter.

Being told my essay had a lack of fluid motion within it creating a harder understanding of my writing was an eye opener. Simple non-harmful wording such as that made by a fellow classmate made me go back and readjust my train of thought on the edit process. When writing the piece originally I thought it flowed, turned out I was wrong. Thankfully she pointed this out prior to me doing my final edit for turn in.

In final conclusion I believe the works of the blog were good in the abstract view. An open area for ideas to be expressed while containing it in a structured set of rules was a good idea. Open areas for reading it for anyone and all to see, not just your class, made it more worth the while so see who all might decide to peek in on your writing.

This was a good concept with careful planning and execution done by the teacher in a well structured class.

The Horror of Sleep

There seems to be such a pain and horror in just waking up to a bad morning for work. Waking up and not wanting to even get out of bed at all. Yea those days, that is what I am talking about. Why do we wake up in these moods?

Literally waking up and just hating everything. They call it "waking up on the wrong side of the bed." Who can literally say they woke up and rolled out of bed thinking "wow, this is totally not the right side of the bed for me." Come on. I have never thought that. Maybe I have had a lack of sense still waking up and not understanding why I was upside down in my bed. Yet never have I woke up thinking it was the wrong side completely.

You wake up, you go to sleep it is the same bed either way. So why is it they claim their bad day is from waking up on the wrong side? I swear it sets me off when they say that to me. Just ridiculous. Maybe it could be I stubbed my toe hard as could be with the toy my daughter left out last night on the floor. Maybe I ran into the bathroom door because I thought It was open already. There are so many other things I could add to this list as excuses as to why it would be a bad day rather then just waking up.

Just an instant grouch comes out when people say that phrase. I do hope that I am not the only one. Just seems that is the first thing they all go back to when they mention something. Never oh hey, having bad morning because of "blank." Just annoys me to no end as you can already tell.

Weird though how that same feeling can just continue all day long. Just everything keeps going wrong after someone says that. Coffee spills, papers fly off your desk, and you forget your work laptop at home. They just seem to all go together. Very next day it is all perfect again and dandy. Is this some cruel ploy put on by karma in the universe? Just a way to balance everything?

If it is then I really hate karma on some days.

Thank you for listening to my rant. 

Is it just me?

Is it just me that seems to feel that if anything can go wrong it all seems to happen within the same week? Even the same day at times it seems. It can be amazing one day and then the next it is insane to no end. Just wanting to end the day and sleep hoping tomorrow will be better. Well seems that is my week.

I will spare you all the details but it was annoying for a day. The machines break the operators mess up and do the wrong parts on the wrong programs.  I mean if it could go wrong it did. Did not help at all that the shop owner was there looking around for the day due to the police coming in earlier. Yes the police were in there earlier. guess there had been a report put in that morning due to stolen metal from the shop. Yea metal that we needed to cut, mold, and paint to be shipped by the end of that day.

Just insane. Again, is it just me? Please tell me that it isn't just me.

Description

Someone has mentioned the asking of a further depth of game play for paintball. Now yes it can be viewed a bunch of ways but the best way is that of first person in the midst of all the craziness and action. The loud noises, echoing of thwacks, panting, smell of the grass, and of course the yelling.

Feeling is just the beginning of it all. I mean I become dull in a sense. Roaring crowds become small backgrounds. Their voices don't feel as if they could pierce your mask. They stand no chance against the timer call of the ref. His call for start and checks blare out.

THREE...
TWO...
GO...!!

Instantly all the sounds burst into life. Thwacks and slams against everything in front of you. My gun raised up and my fingers roll across the trigger. It is a split second of pure reaction. I sprint forward towards the "snake" (low ground barrier designed for rapid firing, low movement, and possible game advantage). Sliding forward to the ground. forearms gripping grass as I reach the first section. Paint slams against the barrier. They think they have me bunkerred. That is a lie. I low crawl down the side to the next spot. Someone comes around the corner

Soon it is evident they know my spot. He starts to lean giving me a few shots. Tightening up in the small spot I have I peak over the edge to the field. A guy bunkerring from the "dorito," and another trying to come down the left side. I crack a line towards him as he rushes to the next bunker. One clips into his pod packs. He looks down to see the pink fill coating his pod. Raising his gun he walks out.

Now to deal with that other guy trying to sneak up on me. This time I peak to the right looking up. He was waiting and fires a few. I scream to get a position on the dorito. I need him gone for this all to come out good. This of course got me fired upon. A sharp whistle passes over my head as I hear the paintball go by. Just barely missing me. Curling up lower I lean out slightly to the left to peak. The dorito is bunkerred by my guys. Left field was covered but right was not. Further leaning to the left I roll a line into the bunker of my opponent. He slides right back into the gap trying to avoid his gun getting hit.

Swapping back I quickly turn to the right doing the same coating the bunker. Less he knows the better. He screams for cover and help. But it is just him and his bunkerred buddy. No one left to help. No one left to save them. We could either take these two guys out or rush for the flag. We have 30 seconds left to go. I have half a hopper left after the rolls I had shot to bunker him. I lean to the right again right hand holding my marker as I slide a pod from my waist out. the lid popping as I slap the top onto my hopper. Paintballs falling in and all over as some miss the fins at the top and bounce out towards the ground.

As I am doing this he tries to peak out for a second between my fires. This is where he takes the first draw on me. He shoots towards me as I am halfway done loading. I jump back to the little hole I had been hiding in. Quickly he begins to rush out as I make the split instant decision to jump over the snake into the open. Pod falling to the ground as I roll over the top. I made the right decision as my opponent had chose to rush my position. He low crawling towards where I was as I stand next to him. I slam back into the snake diving over clipping a few rounds into the back of his body. A large slam to the ground I roll again. Diving back to get into the snake again. Finding out the doritio guy had moved and spotted me. He was opening fire upon me. There was nothing I could really do from here.

Ref begins to yell for fifteen seconds left. All my adrenaline throbbing down to my feet and fingers I call a rush to the team. They rush up left side as I swap to my left hand to fire on the dorito. Just emptying all the ammo I have left in the hopper. Ducking back behind from my fire I have a chance. I slide another pod out of my back as I continue to stand up moving and loading. Scarily it was as fluid a motion as dawning my shirt. Just simple and quick. Rushing forward I run to the flag.

Ten feet.
Five feet.
GOT IT!!!

I rush back as fast as I possibly can back to our start. The ref calling for the last five seconds on the clock. Sprinting I hear the balls flying past me. The dorito had nothing left to lose. He leans out shooting all he has as fast as he can. Needing the extra speed I say screw it and drop dive midair at the last two seconds.

TWO...
ONE....
*a loud buzzer sounds*

I slam into the ground face first sliding into our start point wall with my arm outstretched as far as possible. Soon as the buzzer sounded I had touched the wall, By touch I mean I was at max extension hoping that the fabric was touching because I couldn't feel the wall.  Ref standing there yells for a win.

"WINNERS!"

All of a sudden I can hear the crowd again. They roar louder then anything as my buddies rush to me to help me up and cheer. We had made it. Just passed the qualification rounds on our first ever attempt in an actual tournament. Joy swelled up in all of us. Three of us had been left in the game including myself after it was all over. We had eliminated four of theirs before the amazing end.

Still thinking on this first tournament my fingers tingle again. I remember the sensation of sliding into the snake at the start. The fear of being bunkerred with some of those balls flying so close. It all flows deeply in my veins. Oddly enough the same feeling flows in me the start of any game now. Instant dullness and yet fully aware. It is odd to describe without ever having played the game. Such an adrenaline that you crave it again and again.

Lacking

There is a sense of thought that makes it all weird when you are told to do something but yet just stare blankly at the instructions. That is exactly me with most writing assignments. Oddly enough if I am given a decent amount of time and just the ability to write freely I do just fine. Just writing freely allows me to express the twisting words within my mind.

Simple trains of thought turn to circuses. All roads lead to a stop and yet a second glance they chance to a series of further turns and options. Why is it that a time of free thought and writing or typing turns to such a hard concept for people. Becoming a complex math equation for some and others this simple idea of a story flowing in seconds. Where is it that we fall at? Where is it that you fall at?

I simply fall into the complexity of it all. As seen the words twirl and twist without a thought to the possibility of an end. The location it will turn to and stop at, if stop at all. Structure becomes lost as ideas fall in. Philosophy comes into light. The ability to later comprehend all that random thoughts is an amazing feat in itself.

Just looking back at the words and or pictures to see a vivid depiction of the depicted before you can be seen in just as many way. None leading to the original or all to it instantly. Thus why they say it all comes to a thousand ends and yet one beginning. The flow of words twists nonstop weaving the imagery in our minds of the said, stated, and shown. Odd is it not? This is all the given information of a mind in pure boredom typing its entire train set in a given amount of time. The time just watched as the hands adjust abroad. Keys clicking at the passing of the fingers.

What is it your bored mind comes up with? What is it you think of when you shut yourself off to outer ideas, concepts, and influences?

Oops

Funny idea I saw on the class discussion about being in the bathroom. Made me laugh just reading it.

Having just stepped out and seeing two woman standing in front of me I stand in shock. Hand on my zipper frozen. What am I to do now that I have for sure been caught?

"Um, hello," she says?

"Hola, what are you two up to," I ask?

"Wondering why you are here exactly," chiming in unison.

"Well, have you ever tried to get in the men's bathroom during break after chilli day in the cafeteria?"

"I for sure can say I have not."

"Well I think I have proved my point." I say this as I at least try and be polite and wash my hands in the sink. Still being stared at I just hum a little tune as I lather my hands up.

"It will be just a minute if you don't mind," I say to them as they stare. Just seeing their face made it all the better. They had no idea what to say anymore. Strutting my way out I head back to the office with a simple three finger salute from the front of my forehead as if I were some boyscout.



T

Past

You look at the past with families members and friends that are gone. It is weird how some things fade and others are as vivid as if they had just happened. I remember my grandma. She was an amazing woman all the way to the end. Though it was sad that she passed while I was away. The harder part was being told she did through a phone and not have any possible way to come back to her. No family around to support you in person. Just this feeling of being alone. I lost it that day after I had gotten that call. I about fell to the ground in the gym with my friends at just the thought of her smile. I had missed it for so long but had neglected to harbor that image in my mind until she was gone. Just such a large wave of emotions crashed over me and drown my mind. I became dull to all the guys around me. Took my buddy Jackman to smack my back to make me come back to reality. He saw something was wrong.

I just had to tell him there was a lot on my mind before I went to get my stuff. Ending that work out session a lot earlier then ever before for myself. Going to my truck I literally knew the pain of tears. The harsh cold air hit my face freezing the the tears almost instantly as I walked to the truck in the snow. Was a horrible feeling of knowing the emotions were so overwhelming as well as the cold.

This just dark deep thought now shows the joys I actually had for her. The happiness she had instilled in me. Every day I remember her smile. As said before stated her smile is, was, amazing. The feelings she taught me and my sister are there today. Even my Papa shows them. He tries to open up even more then he once did now that she is gone.